TranslatePublished March 12, 2023
Are you paying attention to your employees? One of the most important skills in owning, managing, and leading a small business is LISTENING. Empathic listening. Being present, engaged, and aware of both verbal and nonverbal communication is key to having an engaged workforce.
When we listen we learn. We become aware of issues, situations, and activities that are shielded from us merely because we are not involved in all the engagements in our businesses.
I recently became aware of the “Iceberg of Ignorance.” It is the reason that we need to be engaged listeners. Why? Above the water is about 4% that we leaders see and are aware of. Our team managers see about 9%, team leaders are aware of about three-quarters of the problems, but the staff see 100%. Listening to them and understanding their perspectives allow owners, managers, and leaders to take appropriate actions to address what the first line sees as urgent issues.
Effective listening helps enterprise leaders understand the interpersonal relationships that impact daily interactions within the structure of their business. When leaders demonstrate positive, engaged listening, the team sees the leader in a different light — interested in them. Simon Sinek teaches that leaders manage the people who achieve the work. Listening to them to understand them, not just to reply to them, demonstrates your authentic interest.
Active listening encourages openness, honesty, and ultimately success in your business. When leaders practice active listening, they are able to drop distractions around them and focus solely on their speaking partner. When you focus on the communications of the other, you are demonstrating sincere interest in them, allowing them to be heard and understood and that their words matter to you, their leader. When you demonstrate positive listening skills you show that you are able to receive and interpret the message.
There are a number of styles you can adopt: appreciative (for interest), discerning, comprehensive, and evaluative. But the most important in the business environment is empathic listening. This is listening to the hurts and pains of another then providing understanding and support. Stephen Covey in “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” focuses on empathic listening.
“In empathetic listening, you listen with your ears, but you also, and more importantly, listen with your eyes and your heart. You listen for feeling, for meaning. You listen for behavior. You use your right brain as well as your left.”
To be an effective listener we need to: (1) focus on the intent and purpose of the conversation - why has the individual wanted to talk with you?, (2) pay attention to body language - 55-60% of all of communication is nonverbal which gives texture to the words that are being delivered, (3) give encouraging verbal clues - uh huh, yeah, right-on - all show you are tuned in to the speaker, (4) clarify if the message is unclear - “let me make sure I understand what you just said….”, (5) ask questions of the speaker to get them to take the dialogue to the next level and give deeper interpretation of the message, (6) leave judgment aside - accept what is communicated and leave the analysis and judgment of the value of the message to a later conversation. Thank them for sharing. (7) Before ending the conversation, summarize, share, and reflect on what was said.
So how can you become a better listener so your team sees you as more interested and engaged?
Face the speaker directly in their eyes without staring. “Listen” to the nonverbal clues — eyes, body positioning, use of arms and hands to gesture. Avoid interrupting that shuts down the dialog because it communicates, “what you are saying of little interest, it is only what I am saying that is important,” Listen without judgment. Take in the message and determine how it applies to the world as you see it after the communication.
If you listen with the intent to understand, then you won’t be spending time planning your response. You will have plenty of time when the speaker is finished to reply with your thoughts. And, you won’t be imposing your thoughts or opinions while they are trying to share their observations with you. Stay focused on the topic and make sure you ask questions when they have delivered their message to show your understanding or lack thereof and interest in what they are sharing. One element of listening that many fail to use is silence. Using silence as a listening tool allows both the speaker and the listener time to think about one another’s responses. The power pause (silence) also allows the communicators to think of questions to assure that both parties understand the message.
There are seven keys to active listening that all small business owners, managers, and leaders need to keep top of mind. (1) Be attentive, (2) Ask open-ended questions that help you delve deeper into the subject, (3) Ask probing questions that show you are tuned into the communications, (4) Request clarification of unclear points, (5) Paraphrase what is said so the speaker sees you as totally engaged, (6) Reflect your emotions regarding the subject and message received, and (7) Summarize to demonstrate that you have received the message delivered.
Your team wants you to pay attention to them and the best way to do that is to become an empathic listener.
Contributed by: Marc L. Goldberg, Certified Mentor, SCORE Cape Cod & the Islands, www.score.org/capecod, capecodscore@ scorevolunteer.org, 508\\740--4820. Sources: Listening, Ignacio Guzman, Mexico DF, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey
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